Many more hellos

This is going to be my last post. Before I get to the meat of things, I would like to make an addendum to the last post, for my own personal aw shucks pride. Regarding climbing up Mt. Palomar, it seems that even if you add a minute to my time to account for me not knowing exactly where this race started from (it couldn't have been far. Rincon's got like 5 buildings), my time is about on par with self-styled serious (but not necessarily great) climbers of the area. I'm no racer and shouldn't really care about these things, but that's encouraging.

Also, if you're still reading this, you might find my album of the whole trip interesting. Most of the good stuff is there. Not as much food as I could put up, but if you care about that, chances are I can show you that stuff in person. A lot of dairy!

Picking pictures for the album really hammered in the point that this is over, which has actually been pretty easy to acknowledge over the last few days as new and old worries take over. Being broke, career worries, friends in need. But I believe I do have new perspectives on things.

Since I've returned, everyone's asked about not just the trip, but also about what I think I've learned. I think a lot of what I've learned is stuff that I don't even know I've learned yet; when talking to a distressed friend, I surprised myself by saying Things About Life that I wouldn't have said a month ago. Not only that, I was saying them with Great Conviction, which is an emotion I've never been all that familiar with. That's a change right there, no?

Anyway, here are the bigger, more obvious things that I think I know that I didn't know before. You probably know these things or have heard these things before, but that doesn't mean they're not great.

Manage and adapt expectations to help you appreciate everything in the moment. This is a real easy one everyone but me knew. Early in the trip, I think it's obvious, I was incredibly stressed. Nothing was going as planned. Hotel sleep was never fulfilling, it was almost impossible for me to find decompression alone time off the bike, I wasn't being best buddies with my dad like I thought might have happened. I was complaining a lot to a lot of people. Certain expected rewards never materialized. I never played my guitar or finished a book. But really, it's like, I was still riding my bike down the west coast doing and seeing more than I ever thought I would. And every day I was physically spent, I could pull out a map of the US and say, "oh, wow, two days ago I was a full inch farther north of here. That's pretty far. Awesome." It's not about lowering the bar. Rewards can be found wherever you look.

You're stronger than you think. Another stupidly obvious one, one that I knew all along but didn't have to deal with until my father left. Hrm. But, well, one day, the first day I cracked mentally, I wanted more than anything for my achy knee to develop an injury so that I had an excuse to quit. I knew that wasn't really an option, even if my dad told me it was (hrm). The next day I took it easy and collected my thoughts and then came back to ride pain free and actually enjoy the ride. Anyway, a bad anecdote, maybe being sick and riding 2.5 hours in fog and rain with no helmet or shoulder and all sorts of fear is a better one. But the point is sometimes the hardest person to convince is yourself.

That being said, hitting your true limits is good for you. Every failure is an opportunity. So yes, I think we've all given up on things before we've really had to, and that's not so great. But when you've absolutely exhausted yourself and you're still not where you want to be, it's okay to acknowledge that. And not just for the feel-good "be happy with your effort" effect; I don't think sitting there and being proud you're stuck is a reward. Again this is nothing new for lots of people, but I had to adapt expectations and see things anew. When I was coughing up yellow globs, even if I could keep riding, it wasn't enjoyable. So, I rented a car and had fun with the sunroof open. I still did something new, and couldn't feel guilty or ashamed because I was having too much fun.

Waffles are great. Crispy and warm, they melt in your mouth when soaked in syrup. Lots of hotels serve make-your-own waffles with continental breakfast. Everyone loves them and gets at least one. Why don't we make them more often at home? We can say this about lots of things. When I rented my first car for a day out of Santa Cruz, I texted myself the message "I LOVE NPR." It was the first time I'd listened to Morning Edition in almost a month. Hearing news about Iran had never made me smile before, but there I was actually giggling to myself with one hand doing the wavy thing out the window. We all lose track of those stupid little things we forget to appreciate. Let's try not to do that anymore.

People are giving, trustworthy, and friendly. Even in the Northeast, as I often have to insist to people in other parts of the country. Everyone appreciates a joke or a smile. People who've never met me or only know me a little bit donated like $4500 for something that I just decided to do. There was a huge supported tour of riders going from SF to LA raising money for the arthritis foundation with a $2900 fundraising minimum. Dozens of people, and they'd all raised at least thousands (one guy raised $50,000!) for a great cause! That's a lot of giving. When you think you're bothering people for a friendly favor, chances are you're not bothering them; they were probably curious about what you were doing anyway (How many subway conversations have you deliberately eavesdropped on?) Many people struck up a conversation with me just because I was hauling the trailer. That made me feel less alone and convinced me we need to fear each other less.

Love the people you know. They love you more than you might think. When people tell you they're behind you and they've got your back, believe them. The people I've already thanked, I can't thank them enough. This trip was wonderful and amazing, but as I wrote a while back in San Francisco, a lot of the times I had, I wish someone could have shared that with me. Of course I wouldn't have had that very valuable alone time, but pulling out into the Yachats fog, rolling into the redwoods and feeling sunbeams cut through the canopy to warm my skin, eating lots of ice cream and Mexican food -- these are experiences I want everyone I know to know. Things are beautiful and beautiful things should be shared. Sappy whatever, but yeah, I wouldn't be who I am without everyone I know. That's your mark on the world. And as Robert Johnson sings in When You Got a Good Friend, "watch your close friends, baby, then your enemies can't do you no wrong."

Okay! Now I guess it's time to get back to life, but it's not really the same life I had when I left September 11. Never did I think being in debt, unemployed, single, and too-cold-to-ride would be a good thing, but here I am and I'm excited about what's next, whatever that is. Without a doubt, this is the best thing I've ever done by myself.

It's funny, a few days ago some friends reminded me that before I left I was full of doubt and fear, even convincing myself that I didn't need to do this. It's also still funny to hear people tell me that I have big cojones to have even left to start this thing. Buying the plane tickets and buying the bike stuff, then especially making it a charity ride, that's just the point of no return. These things aren't hard when you've just made the commitment, financial or otherwise. Anyone could have done it. Really. We're all capable of great things. If you've ever thought of doing something crazy, big or small, you owe it to yourself to do it. Working indoors under artificial lights, I'm sure you've thought that things could be better. So surprise yourself. Inspire pride among the people you know. It's really not that hard to make your corner of the world a great place.